PORTRAIT FOR TAMBU

My dear sister and friend Rumbi Bvunzawabaya started a campaign to raise funds for her cousin Tambu  who has been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Chodrosacoma. This cancer is only treatable through specialist surgery in the United Kindgdom. The family needs £30 000 to have the treatment done in the United Kingdom. When I told Rumbi that at this stage I am not in a position donate to this cause till the middle of the month February, but my heart really wants to give to Tambu. She asked me to share on my blog, but I realized that I can do more than just share and ask people to donate. I am a portrait Artist. My way of helping Tambu can be through the work of my hands through the gift God has given me. For those who appreciate art, each portrait I will do from now on the money will go towards Tambu's fund till her target is reached. When I hold my pencil and paper to bring something to life. To me art is more than just drawing, its an expression of life. I will start by drawing a portrait of beautiful Tambu as my gift to her, my tribute to her for her bravery and endurance,  as I draw her beautiful face, that's my prayer for her that God will restore her face to complete inner health,  inner beauty and radiance. We have the power to help restore this brave young woman to good health  through donating money for her life saving operation. She is such a positive young woman, a beautiful wife and loving mother, full of life.  Our faces are a reflection of our inner selves and well being being, our faces tell our story. So many times we take good health for granted, like Muzvare Betty Makoni always say, her selfies are not selfish. Lets support Tambu by appreciating Portrait Art, have a picture hanging on your wall knowing that you had it done for a good cause, for beautiful Tambu. 

MY OPEN LETTER TO THE PRIME MINISTER DAVID CAMERON CC ERIC PICKLES MP

To the Prime Minister David Cameron

CC Eric Pickles: Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government.

A PETITION FOR SELF STYLED PROPHETS AND THEIR CHURCHES TO BE REGULATED IN THE UK

If someone had told me 11 years ago when I moved into my newly built property that one day I would be homeless living in a women's refugee, I would have told them over my dead body. Mr Prime Minister, I write this letter to you today as a woman who has lost everything I have ever worked for in the United Kingdom. I love Great Britain with my whole being,  its been my home all my adult life, I turned 18 in this country, I turned 21 here, and I celebrated 30 years of my life in this beautiful country. Even though I was born in Zimbabwe and spent my childhood there, today what I call home is England, I have contributed to the community as a mental health nurse and I have paid my taxes and national insurance. I do see myself as British and have no plans to live anywhere else, because to me home is where the heart is, and my heart is in Great Britain. For the past 15 years of my life in the UK I never once claimed benefits or lived on public funds until I found myself homeless in a women's refugee. The reason why I ended up homeless in the United Kingdom is my reason to bring this letter to your attention Mr Prime Minister. Somehow in my heart, I have a deep yearning for justice and change, I do love my country dearly,  and I believe this is something that should be brought to your good and honourable office by none other than a woman who has suffered and endured the harsh realities being faced by many Black African women living in the UK today, a problem that I believe is huge  but remains an unspoken of. 

I believe the United Kingdom is a country that is governed by rules and laws that protect the general public. I believe Britain should be safe for everyone, including those who chose to go to Church. I was raised in a culture in Africa where people are extremely religious, and always look onto one person as their spiritual leader. The spiritual leader will have absolute authority and power over individuals, and anything they say or do is regarded as directly inspired by a God or a supreme being. Most of these Spiritual Leaders are self appointed. They say that God has directly spoken to them to start a church, and will say they are modern day Prophets who hear the audible voice of God and even see manifestations of God in visions and appearances confirming their self appointed prophetic office. Britain now being a multi cultural society, with the multicultural population growing to more than 7 million, a large number of that population being black Africans who have migrated to the UK. Most Black Africans who migrate to the UK do so because political instabilities and severe conflict in counties like Rwanda, Somalia, Zimbabwe, Ghana, South Africa, Kenya and many other troubled African countries. Immigration challenges faced by African immigrants often cause them to  seek  spiritual guidance from African Church leaders. As a result "Church" has become part of an African culture and lifestyle prevalent in the today's British society. Self Styled Prophets and church leaders use this opportunity to attract church members, even promising the African population to solve their immigration problems and challenges. I personally believe they are more than 1000 self styled Prophets today leading churches that are officially registered as charities in the United Kingdom. 

As much as I understand the freedom of religion, and the importance of religion in our British African society, I also believe that the children and the adults who follow the self styled prophets should be somehow protected by the law under basic human rights. I believe that the people who follow self styled Prophets are vulnerable in the sense that they believe that the self styled Prophets represent God, and anything that is said or done by the Prophets is inspired by God. I believe that adults who are members of these churches fall into the category of vulnerable adults and children by default. I believe that everyone living in the UK has a right to live in safety be at work, their own home, or even in a church service. 

Allow me Mr Prime Minister to briefly share with you why I believe something needs to be done in the United Kingdom in regards to the rampart rising of self styled Prophets and Church leaders taking advantage of the vulnerable public. 

In 2006 Zimbabwean born Walter Masocha left his job as a Lecturer in Scotland saying God had called him to be a Prophet to the African Immigrants in the United Kindgom. He said he would help struggling immigrants to get their legal stay in the UK. This automatically generated a huge following despite the fact that Prophet Masocha had been expelled from his previous church for sexually assaulting women during prayer sessions. As a Charismatic speaker, he managed to attract a huge following, especially from Zimbabweans living in the UK, the majority of his followers being single mothers. I joined the church in 2011. During my church membership I was often restrained by male pastors during long hours of gruesome exorcisms, I was manipulated into giving all my money to the Prophet, leaving me staying in a house without food and electricity, whilst the Prophet would be on holidays abroad. I was often subjected to bullying, cruelty and harassment, until one Sunday I decided to stand up for myself and it resulted in the Pastor of the church calling the ambulance and asking the paramedics to section me under the mental health act. Because the paramedics refused to section me, I suffered more abuse from the Church leaders, resulting in me fleeing the Church to a Women's Refugee. 

In the Women's Refugee in pain and anguish over the life threatening abuses I suffered in the hands of Prophet Masocha, with no one to talk to about what had happened to me, I started a blog to document the abuse I suffered in the Church. As a writer this was my coping mechanism to deal with the trauma. Never the intention of my blogging, my blog became a platform for more victims of Prophet Walter Masocha to share their horrendous experiences in Agape Church.  Other victims found the courage to report Prophet Masocha to the police, and in the process of time Prophet Walter Masocha was arrested.

In January as he stood before Alloa Sheriff Court in Scotland, Prophet Masocha was charged with the following counts of sexual assault.

• On various occasions between January 1, 2012 and July 31, 2013, at his home and the hotel he engaged in sexual activity with a 15-year-old girl by inducing her to massage his body whilst in a state of undress using massage oils.
• On various occasions between January 1, 2012 and May 16, 2013, at his home and the hotel he engaged in sexual activity with a 12-year-old girl by inducing her to massage his body whilst in a state of undress using massage oils.
•  Between April 1, 2012 and March 30, 2013, at his home he did sexually assault a woman by repeatedly putting his arms around her, pressing his body against her, touching her on her body and private parts.
• Between January 1, 2013 and January 27, 2014, at his home he engaged in sexual activity with a 14-year-old girl by repeatedly kissing her on the lips, touching her on the body and placing his hands on her buttocks and pinching them.

I believe that was there a law to protect children and women, these sexual abuses and other life threatening abuses would not be allowed to happen and progress. Other practises of grave concern in Agape Church which I believe come under public health and safety include

• Church members being given handkerchiefs of the Prophet's sweat to wipe themselves with believing his sweat is "holy anointing oil".
• Church members hitting other peoples children and the bible being used to justify this practice. 
• Children being left alone unsupervised for long periods of time during church services resulting in children engaging in unlawful sexual activities
• Registered sex offender being appointed as a leader in the church and working with children unsupervised. 
• Prophet Masocha conducting "Spiritual Surgeries" alone with under-age girls and women in which he does anything he wishes to the women and girls who believe he is "anointed by God to do so"
• Church members giving all their money to the Church leaving their children hungry to the point of stealing food from shops
• Women and children being pushed violently to the floor during prayer sessions, recently a woman was hospitalised after being badly injured during the prayer sessions. I also have DVDs which show children being pushed to the floor.  
• Violent exorcisms on women being conducted against their will, I was once restrained by men and exorcised after I walked out of a church service. In 2006 Prophet Masocha was served with an ASBO for conducting noisy exorcisms in his front garden after neighbours reported him to the police.  

Today I continue to receive phone calls and text messages from women who allege were sexually abused by Prophet Walter Masocha but are afraid of going to the police. I believe that self styled Prophets in the United Kingdom should be CRB checked before they start a church or religious organisation. I believe that Self Styled Prophets in the UK should not be allowed to be with women and under age children (both boys and girls) in a room alone conducting prayers or any other church practises. This will protect vulnerable women and under age children from being sexually and physically assaulted by Prophets. I believe "exorcisms" should be barned in the United Kingdom as I believe this is a form of physical abuse and torture. It is extremism and most people who undergo this gruesome ritual are not normally consenting adults but are manipulated into believing they have demons in them that need to be cast out. Prophet Masocha says one of his major calling is to conduct exorcisms. I believe the finances of these Prophets should be regulated if they are getting donations from struggling church members, most Prophets live in luxury at the expense of their suffering followers. 

Mr Prime Minister, I am just a woman, who through following a self styled Prophet had my life completely destroyed. I am now in the process of rebuilding my life again.  I was lucky to survive, other victims have been so desperate they committed suicide. My time in the Women's Refuge was painful but powerful, and it was in the refuge that I learnt that in order to obtain justice, it always starts with one person who speaks out, and paves the way for others. I do not want my suffering to be in vain. I do not want my coming out in public with my story to be in vain. I want more than justice for the abuse I have suffered. I want change. I want a safer Britain for the Black African Church communities. I want a safer Britain for the children of parents who choose to follow self styled Prophets. 

I hope you take my petition into consideration

Yours sincerely

Jean ( A Survivor of life threatening Church Abuse in modern day Britain)

Myself with Self Styled Prophet Masocha during a church service in Rochdale May 2013

UK based Church Elder from Walter Masocha's former Church flees to Zimbabwe after allegedly molesting a 12 year old girl

Okay, before I get to my article today, there is an issue I have to address. I have one reader of this blog who keeps ruthlessly attacking me for writing about other stories, according to her I shouldn't be doing that. Shes an ex Agape member and she feels strongly that I should only blog about Masocha, Masocha, Masocha and nothing but Masocha. I am sorry to disappoint you dear one angry reader, but my life does not revolve around Walter Masocha and Agape. I also have a life to live by the way. I also happen to live in a world which also doesn't revolve around Walter Masocha and things keep happening in this world. I also happen to be a writer who is interested in current issues that affect black women, especially women from my country Zimbabwe. So as this happens to be a blog which is administrated by me, I believe its within my rights to blog about other current matters affecting women too. If I did nothing but talk about Walter Masocha all day, I am sure I would eventually go mad. 

That said yesterday I received an email from one of my readers about a Zaoga Church elder who fled to Zimbabwe last month after he was allegedly confronted for molesting a girl child. The child involved, like in Masocha's case is also just 12 years old. I just thought, wow,  what a coincidence with the Masocha case. And this happens to be the Church were Walter Masocha started as a Pastor. I personally have a problem with Forward In Faith Ministries or Zaoga to be honest. This is where Walter Masocha got his training to be a self styled Prophet. I do not regard Baba Guti or Ezekiel Guti or whatever his name is as a Man of God. Just like Walter Masocha he left his wife and started a Church with his mistress. I know a lot of Zimbabweans have respect him but I don't have it unfortunately. In fact I don't have time any-more for anyone who calls themselves a Prophet, especially heading a ministry were young girls are  being abused. If Mr Guti was a true man of integrity he would do the honorable thing and hand over Godfrey Mutata to the Police before he starts another church and becomes the next Walter Masocha. The fruit of Mr Guti'a Church is rotten and he does nothing about the filth that goes on in Zaoga. I also have problems with a lot of his doctrine, its all kinda upside down and twisted.  Godfrey Mutara, whom I personally thinks looks like a wierdo, to me is just another Walter Masocha, groomed by Mr Guti.  He is a weird looking paedo, anyway here is the article about Ezekiel Guti's son Godfrey Mutara:

Godfrey Mutara (48), who was chairing Elder of Forward In Faith Ministries, Leicester West Assembly and owner of Victory Care Services has eloped to Zimbabwe after he was allegedly confronted on a count sexually molesting a 12yr old girl (name withheld for legal reasons), now 13yrs old. The victim is also a child of Elders at the same Assembly making this heinous crime extremely disturbing to the church administration and parishioners alike.

Weird looking Godfrey Mutara with wife Ethel

When confronted, Mutara boasted of his financial and enormous political influence in the church, challenging the administration they can not kick him out of the Regional Pastor of Leicestershire Region, instead tendering his resignation at hi convenience before hastily making a run for the next available flight to Zimbabwe

“I do not have a recollection of the incident in question, you can not touch me as you have no compelling credible evidence. None of you has the power to remove me from being elder”, boasted Mutara when confronted.

It is alleged the incident happened in June at a church meeting when  married Godfrey Mutara who also had leadership jurisdiction over the youth is believed to have coerced his victim and isolated her to his car where he touched her improperly and sexually molested her. The victim mentioned the incident to a vigilant relative in passing conversation who quickly alerted family and the case was raised with the church administration. Not surprising as in many such cases among Zimbabwean community environments, the ZAOGA FIF has so far not recited any disciplinary procedures regarding the matter.

The case has since been reported to Leicestershire Constabulary who are currently investigating the case though is set back by Mutara`s absence as he has currently gone to Zimbabwe. The case has since triggered more under age victims said to have fell to Mutara’s unholy shenanigans.

The verdict is yours dear readers....

DOES EZEKIEL GUTI'S CHURCH BREED PAEDOPHILES OR WHAT??? 

In other news 

Head of United Methodist in UK exposed in sex scandal

The head of  United Methodist Church in UK  was exposed in a sex scandal before his congregation.  On Sunday 04/01/2015 at United Methodist Church service based at a  rented St Peters Church,  310 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, London SE11 5HY Reverend TK Mapfeka was exposed by an angry member of the church whose was wife is allegedly going out with the reverend.

During time for  announcements meant for thanksgiving “Zvitendo” which is used to thank the Lord for whatever blessings has happened to someone’s life. A  gentleman by the name a Mr Chireka  took the microphone and said to the fully packed church “Mufundisi Mapfeka vanodanana nemudzimai wangu. Vakatora mukadzi wangu kuenda naye kuGermany. Mukadzi wangu akati kwandiri ari kuenda kumusha kuZimbabwe izvo ari kuenda kuGermany naMufundisi Mapfeka. Vanhu vaMwari ndiine evidence pano matext nemapicture avaitorana ikoko.”  The Reverend who was supposed to take the sermon was dump-founded with his wife seated next to him including his teenage girls.

Members of the church were  just astounded at the announcement. Mr Kaisi and  Mr Zimunya some known other members of the church swiftly approached the man who was visibly angry. They asked him to go outside with them so that the issue could be discussed outside the church in private. Church members just looked at each other as the commotion went on, Reverend Mapfeka’s wife followed outside. She later came to collect her children and left. Members of the church then held a meeting with Mr Chireka who was accompanied by three of his friends.

Mr Chireka told the  church members  that he had a lot of evidence to prove the love affair of his wife with Reverend Mapfeka to members of the United Methodist Church. Mapfeka abandoned the service and disappeared. Mr Chideu took over the sermon.

The church comprises Zimbabwe community who are members of the United Methodist Church based in the UK. Chivasa’s wife goes to a United Methodist Branch in Chelmsford.

THE ESE WALTER'S STORY, An Encouragement To Women Who Were Manipulated Into Having Sexual Relations With Prophet Walter Masocha. Its still abuse!

A few days after I reported Walter Masocha to the police in August 2013, one day I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor, thinking to myself, "What have I done?" Will I be believed?" "Is this all worth it?" I had my phone with me, I had just prayed, and I started browsing through my phone, not looking for anything, I somehow found myself reading the story of a woman who was making headlines at that time. Her name was Ese Walter, she had written a blog about her former Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo. I remember my heart racing as I read her story in her own words. I felt some sense of liberation, because this woman was writing things I was going through, and I was encouraged by her honesty and bravery. She came out with her story and faced a lot of backlash from church members calling her a whore and liar, but she stood firm in her voice for justice, and I believe God heard her. I remember reading through the comments on her blog, church members saying Ese Walter was attacking a man of God.  Even though the church members called her immoral, loose, fame and money hungry and all sorts, to God she proved to be a virtuous woman and today she is happily married to Nigerian Radio Personality and Inspirational Speaker Benny Ark. Ese Walter was not raped by Pastor Fatoyinbo, she had an affair with him, yet rightly in her view it was spiritual abuse and manipulation. I have chosen to share her story because there are a number of women who have reported on this blog that they feel confused because they felt like they consented to Walter Masocha touching them inappropriately. Dear women even if you had an affair with Prophet Mosocha, its still religious abuse because you were the vulnerable one and he used his power as a pastor to sleep with you. My dear readers, with permission from my dear friend Ese Walter, be encouraged by her story...

ESE WALTER: MY AFFAIR WITH PASTOR FATOYINBO

This article contains stories that most ‘church people’ don’t want to address. So, if you are one of those living in denial and covering up crap going on in the church, this is where you should stop reading.

Now, for the rest of us, please sit down and switch on your open mind. I want to talk about something I have kept bottled up inside for longer than necessary. I have also decided to use real names, as my defence for any accusation of slander is justification. I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. However, feel free to throw your doubt around but know that I am past the shaming game (where victims of abuse are shot down by blame) I am no longer a victim but a survivor who is sharing her experience to help others caught in same web of abuse, guilt and shame. We only get to live once right? So here, it goes…

I recently came to know this event too was abuse (recently here means about 6 months ago). It has literally been eating me up having to drive by another billboard advertising preachers, or hearing his name, or even trying to ask about the validity of the entire salvation story and whether or not there is a God that truly watches over his people. That being said, I’m just going to say it as it is. This is a recap of my affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (Common Wealth Of Zion Assembly) Abuja chapter. This affair I have come to know as a form of abuse as you would see the different elements of abuse very present.

I met Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo many years ago. I was getting bored of the church I was attending and someone suggested COZA. At the time, I had never heard about it. My friend said, go there, I’m sure you would enjoy the word. But he also gave me a strong warning. He said he would advice that I remain a member only and not join the workforce. I agreed. The first time I attended COZA, I felt it was my church and decided I was going to plant my ass there. About eleven months had gone by and I was still attending the services quietly and faithfully. I really did like the church. One day a worker in the church approached me that the senior pastor wanted to see me.

Me? I thought. Why would the senior pastor want to see me? Not the second man but the head nigga in charge? Ok na! I started to think my sin was oozing so bad the pastor could tell I needed Jesus. (Poor old me.) I saw him at the end of the second service (they had two services at the time) and he said to me that he would like me to work with him. I knew I had no intentions of becoming a pastor so I had to ask in what capacity. He said he’d like for me to join a department, preferably the Pastoral Care Unit (PCU).

A few weeks later, against my friend’s advice not to join the workforce, I was a PCU member. All of a sudden, I had some status in church. I was ‘somebody.’ Dress had to be on point, hair, shoes and what not… As workers, we were literally trying to outshine each other or so it seemed. Anyways, I felt like I was a privileged member of an elite circle. Hehehe. (It did feel good though, for the most part.)

About a year after joining the workforce, I was on my way to London for a Masters degree program that would last two years. As was the rule for workers travelling, I wrote to say I would be away for 2 years and Pastor Biodun Fotoyinbo asked that I keep in touch by sending him my number and email when I had settled in London so he “makes sure I continue in the faith” because according to him, people loose their faith when they leave home and he wanted to make sure I didn’t. So, on that note, as soon as I got a phone line in London, I was sure to call ‘my pastor’ to say I arrived safe, had settled in and also gave my phone number.

We had spoken a few times especially when COZA started to stream online. I always watched and would give feedback on quality of production and share a little bit on the challenges I faced settling in a new land. One evening, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo called me that he was coming to London and needed me to help him make some hotel bookings as the person who was meant to do it couldn’t get it done (this was rather strange as I had never been involved in his travel itinerary) Later that day, he said it had been sorted and my help would not be required but that he would like me to arrange a cab to pick him up from Heathrow. I was happy to help my pastor from Nigeria and even saw it as a privilege. (I would later come to learn that all of this was a calculated attempt to hatch a plan that I suspect was set in motion when I was asked to join the workforce.)

The cab guy was there to get him the next day and when he arrived, he called to ask why I didn’t accompany the cab to pick him up (again, this was strange but I stopped my mind from overanalyzing the situation as I knew I had no business with his visit to London) About two hours later, he called me and said he would like to see me. When I arrived his hotel, I called from the reception but he asked that I come upstairs. I got to the room and tried to stop my mind from thinking why I was going to his room. As he opened the door and invited me in, I had to speak to my heart to stop its palpitations. My better judgment asked me not to go into the room but the kind of reverence I had for Pasotr Biodun Fatoyinbo bordered on fear and I steeped into that room.

“Care for a drink?” Asked Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.

“No sir,” I said.

“You don’t have to be shy Ese, even if it’s alcohol, feel free and order what you want.” I wasn’t sure I heard my pastor asking me to order alcohol. I imagined it was a test and ignored the voice inside that was saying, “I’d have henny and coke please.” He proceeded to ask how I had been coping in London and if I was a committed member of any church. He also said he thought there was something special about me and wanted to know that I had not strayed from my faith. I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts. He kept telling me to relax and feel comfortable with talking to him. After a few minutes, he asked that we go to the roof of the hotel as his room was a pent suite and had a connecting door to the roof.

While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom. He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.

A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A sexual affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!

I can hear somebody’s mind thinking, ‘well, you weren’t raped.” And I remember a pastor I opened up to when I couldn’t take all the mind games asking if I seduced him. No, I didn’t seduce him and no, I wasn’t raped but I felt trapped in this affair. Come to think of it, how could I have seduced him when I wanted nothing from him? I mean, I was too busy minding my business in London trying to get through with my masters program and I was overly comfortable. And even if I wanted to seduce anyone, it wouldn’t be a married man, not to mention a married pastor.

What I couldn’t reconcile the whole time, was how the same person who preached against the very things we were doing (i.e drinking in pubs, fornicating, committing adultery) was the same person endorsing and encouraging it.

At some point, I got really confused about what Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I were doing that I had to ask how he handles it. I will never forget what he said to me. He said and I quote, “I will teach you a level of grace that you don’t understand.” My mind couldn’t fathom that somehow grace was enough covering for not just fornication on my path, adultery on his path and the many lies that was bound to follow what we were doing that was clearly abominable. I somehow dealt with the thoughts and fears that followed on my path. He had said to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he would take me around the world and spoil me with money and things. Somehow, money had never been one of the things that motivated me (I am from a home where all my needs have been adequately met) In all my ‘badness’ through finding myself, I never did things I did for money but more of rebellion against rules and authority.

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo also said to me that he had a dream where I exposed what was happening to the media. Said it was all over the place and that people were calling me the girl that caused chaos in COZA. He also said I should remember the bible said to “touch not God’s anointed.” I immediately started to rebuke the devil and said I could never do anything like that. I was almost swearing with my entire family as I thought really I had touched God’s anointed by submitting my body to be used. Little did I know at the time that all of these were ways to mess with my mind and even manipulate my thoughts.

Fast-forward a few months later, I was back in Nigeria and my church had become uncomfortable. Anytime I sat in church and listened to Pastor Biodun preach, I felt shame. I finally sent him a message saying I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I was confused and needed to talk about what had happened. He said I should meet him to talk and I did. It was a really weird meeting for me especially when he tried to kiss me at our meeting. I finally realized at this point that he couldn’t help me. I thought God was angry with me and I couldn’t pray so I decided to withdraw completely from COZA. This was the beginning of my mental torture. I couldn’t talk to my family because already, I was the only one attending a different church and somehow my mom never liked the idea. As the days went by I tried to use drinking and smoking to cover up the deep shame and guilt I was battling with. But as soon as the high was over, the thoughts came back and I felt stuck like I couldn’t move forward.

I felt I had to talk to someone and I decided to speak to my then good friend, Ernest Akale but unfortunately for me, Mr. Ernest did not have the capacity to hold what I said to him. He broke down completely the days that followed and I found myself having to pause how I was feeling and what I was struggling with to help my friend be strong. After a while, he withdrew from not just me but his then fiancé and friends. I had to then tell the fiancé what had caused it (she suspected we were having an affair so I had to clear the air) To my surprise she was a lot stronger than her man and told me to suck it up (I’m paraphrasing). She said if she were me, she wouldn’t leave the church but stay to torment Pastor Biodun and collect money from him. Ok! That sounded extreme for me, as my intention was not to blackmail but to heal my broken self. Anyways, I finally found the courage to speak to my then unit head who said he was going to talk to Pastor Biodun but didn’t have the liver to do so. Before long, the story was spreading and naturally getting twisted.

I went to a new church and it seemed like the COZA bug had chased me there. The pastor would always refer to COZA as some example and each time that was done, it seemed like a spear was thrust through my chest. One day, I broke down in the service and started crying uncontrollably, as I couldn’t take another mention of COZA and the pictures it painted in my head.

Very long, boring story cut short, for the last 5 months I gave the whole church thing a big space and break. I wasn’t sure I believed in God. I wasn’t sure I understood what it meant when people said ‘Jesus saves” and I definitely wasn’t sure how to deal with the mental torture that was affecting not just me but my relationships with family and friends. I was very unstable, fearful and worst of all guilty. I got a chance to talk to Pastor Folarin of COZA Lagos Chapter, popularly called Pastor flo about everything. I made an effort to reach out to him because I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me.

Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok. He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws. I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church. Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.) All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors. I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right. I wanted to talk to Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo maybe for closure and I felt like I needed an apology because he played the“touch not my anointed” card to keep me locked in guilt, shame and fear when all along it was a calculated plan and I dare say, it started when he asked me to join the workforce.

Not to mention the audacity to talk about teaching me a level of grace I didn’t understand. I had no intention of understanding a grace that would permit me to go on doing things that were wrong and what’s worse having to carry the burden for almost a year.

Different surprising advises came up in the weeks that followed the rumour making rounds. I was told to hush because Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo had been a cultist in the past and could send people to shut me up. All my so-called friends in COZA withdrew from me and treated me like I had the plague. What was worse was Pastor Flo finally saw my then pastor to ‘talk’ about what had happened with Pastor Biodun and lied that it happened once and was a mistake. My question then became, ‘do these people even care how broken I had become?’ ’do they care about the emotional and spiritual welfare of the people they were pastoring?’ The sad answer was NO. Most of us old members of COZA kept leaving but they couldn’t care less. What was important was to keep growing the church and having more and more cars with stickers that read “More than enough.”  Back then, I always felt horrible when I saw another car drive past me with the sticker. I was breaking, I was struggling but no one could help. All they could do was ask me to hide so Pastor Biodun’s goons don’t hurt me. And then the interesting one was if I had evidence to prove my claim. Let me just say here that, it isn’t a claim, it’s a confession to free me from all of the guilt and shame I have had to live with for no reason at all. (That being said, I have evidence to prove all I have said here, the latest being a 58 minutes recording of my meeting with Pastor Flo a few months back)

This is my confession and I cannot begin to describe how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders just pouring the truth out about what went down. So, to all my ex COZA friends gossiping about me, get your facts right. To those who said they’d help me deal with the pain but didn’t, I forgive you, I have learnt how to deal with it and I am doing just fine. To those who fear for my safety saying Pastor Biodun would send people to shut me up, I really have gone past fearing for my life. To live is gain and to die is Christ (or how does Paul say it again?) And to the only person who ever supported me through it all, thank you, I am learning to be brave. Please don’t think I am perfect in all of this but in line with living my authentic life and putting all forms of abuse behind me, this is where I press the stop button and stop the bleeding. This is where I break the silence and call the church to stand up for what it has been commissioned to do. If you will not enter the Kingdom, please don’t stop others who are trying to enter.

I still remember when I used to nurse the idea of digging up emails, text messages, hotel billings (as once I used my card to pay for his room when his master card failed to work) to prove there was an affair. It was pathetic. Why for the love of heaven was I trying to dig up evidence? I am satisfied setting the record straight. I am ready for any shaming or bashing that would follow because the truth is, because of what I have suffered and come through, I am really not moved by what people say or think about me anymore. I am a stronger woman and a damn abuse survivor seeking to connect with other victims of abuse to show them how to deal with the shame, hurt and guilt and how to come out stronger. Turning their mess into their message.

I am Ese Walter and I have gone through all forms of abuse from family, boyfriends, my ex pastor and some strangers not to break me, but so I stand and so I qualify to help victims. My scars have qualified me and when all is said and done, I will still be standing. I AM WOMAN, I BEND, I DON’T BREAK!

With that my dear readers I leave with a video I recorded today and a selfie I took today of my 2015 look, box braids. Hope you are encouraged by the video dear readers. Have a blessed and fruitful week!

2015 new look, Box Braids. Selfie with no foundation make up on.  Nino said they are the nicest braids he has ever seen and appreciated...

My new clothing line I.AM.JEAN  wear is coming soon. This is a sneak peak of one of my designs. 

A CALL FOR EVERY EX MEMBER OF AGAPE TO DO A REFLECTIVE DIARY OF THEIR TIME IN AGAPE, THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF YOU WERE ABUSED

Walter Masocha wearing two aprons and an overall calling for church members to give him money to build his church....

Walter Masocha and little children during an Agape church service...

When  I was a mental health nurse, I used to do reflective analysis on a regular basis during my practise. For you to improve as a nurse in clinical practise, you have to be able to correctly reflect on major incidents. This involves thinking about, pondering on, asking yourself questions about, discussing with yourself , trying to work something out, making sense of things, learning from experience, and helping you plan for the future. Reflective writing is essential in understanding how an incident happened, why it happened and how you as an individual handled the situation.  To be a reflective writer, first of all you have to be honest with yourself, this may seem like something obvious, but in my own experience dealing with people, I know that a lot of people are not willing to be honest with themselves, because being honest with yourself is literally taking a torch light and shining it on those things that you don't want anyone knowing about. However, once you overcome this hurdle, you will be able to reflect on past incidents clearly and do a critical analysis of what actually happened. One reason why Walter Masocha was able to brainwash academics, even people with PHD's is because he understood how the human mind works. I didn't even know there was such a thing as SPIRITUAL ABUSE until Walter Masocha was done abusing me. I remember even Walter Masocha telling me that I was not to GOOGLE anything or seek knowledge from any other teacher but him. This was the way he controlled our minds. 

Walter Masocha hypnotising and brainwashing vulnerable Church members

The brainwashing continued in South Africa

 And in United States of America

More brainwashing in Uganada

What really helped me come to realise that I was brainwashed and cruelly abused by Walter Masocha was because I always wrote things down. I have three diaries from when I was in Agape. I wrote everything that Walter told me, even the little things he used to whisper in my ears when he was praying for me, I would go home and write them down in my diary. When I was being abused, I didn't even know it was abuse, I thought it was love, I believe this is the most painful form of abuse, because when its happening, you haven't got a bloody clue. In fact you will realise you were assisting your abuser hurt you through your gullibility. When you finally realise the truth you will blame yourself for allowing yourself to be brainwashed and abused in broad daylight, it will take time to recover from this pain. You have to learn to be kind to yourself and be nice to yourself, otherwise without that you will find the journey of recovery long and full of hurdles. Avoid calling yourself names like foolish, stupid and idiot, because unfortunately you will feel like that, or worse, but you have to give yourself grace.

On Saturday I had a conversation with Muzvare Betty Makoni and she was encouraging I create a medium for victims to open up and speak out about the abuse, my boyfriend Nino also suggested the same to me. Nino suggested I create a platform for men who were abused to talk about their experiences. I have to admit I had never thought of the men as victims, because the women and girls seems to be the most affected in this scandal. But men are victims too.  Right now the court case is only focusing on women and girls, but we all know that there are a lot of men who also had their homes destroyed. They are also wives who were told to leave their husbands by Walter. At the 1 March Victim No More Event, there were men who also spoke out about the abuse they suffered in the hands of Walter Masocha. At the 1 March Victim No More Event Immigration lawyer Rumbi Bvunzawabaya also highlighted that your immigration status will not affect your case of abuse, in fact you could use your case of abuse by Walter Masocha to seek refuge in the United Kingdom and it is within your legal rights to do that. Most of Walter Masocha's  victims are illegal immigrants who are afraid to go to the police. 

However I would like to urge every person who was once a member of Agape, male or female to do a personal reflection of the things that happened to them in Agape. I believe this case is bigger than Jimmy Saville case, what is being reported in the media is only the tip of the iceberg. Once the silent victims start coming up, a picture that will shock the world will emerge. Every former member of Agape, I urge you to relax and maybe put on some quiet music, go in a quiet room,  take a long warm bath or maybe take a walk in the park, whatever helps you to relax and reflect on your own. I personally reflect when I am jogging, soon after a jog I take a pen and paper and write down my reflections. This is the best way I recollect events in my mind and do a critical analysis of what happened. I also reflect when I am taking a bath or when I am in bed. I always have my journal and pen next to my bed. Nino being an opera singer  has a very different taste in music, only good listeners appreciate opera music. Well, he introduced me to music by a singer called ENYA, her music is so beautiful and calming it makes you listen to yourself. Thats one of the most important key elements of reflection, LISTENING TO YOUR INNER THOUGHTS. You have to stop thinking like everyone else and just see things from YOUR OWN POINT OF VIEW. 

I would like challenge every former member of Agape to do this. It is very crucial in helping you come to the realisation or understanding of whether you were actually abused by Walter Masocha or not, be it sexually, emotionally, financially, spiritually or physically. I have come up with this model as a reflective tool to use when doing your reflective analysis. You can use it as a guideline. You will be surprised what your mind will bring to remembrance when you embark on this personal journey of reflection. 

PERSONALISED REFLECTION TOOL FOR EX-AGAPE MEMBERS

1. WHY? Ask yourself why you started going to Agape Church. 
2. WHAT HAPPENED? Ask yourself what happened between you and Walter Masocha personally when you were a member of Agape Church? He did claim to know and have a personal relationship with each member of his church. 
3. WHY DID I LEAVE? Ask yourself what made you leave this church?

These are the only three key questions you need to focus on in order to establish if you were abused  by Masocha or not? It doesn't matter if you are a man or woman, we were all vulnerable and were his target. Get a pen and paper, relax, think and answer these three questions, you will be surprised what comes up. When you are doing reflection, don't worry about spelling or grammar, just write down whatever comes to mind, you can correct your writing after you have built a picture of events. Also when you are doing reflection, its important to be honest with yourself, even writing down things you think are silly and don't matter, they are normally the most important things!There are men in Agape who were told to divorce their wives, one man had to watch his wife being given to another man by Walter Masocha. He even attended the wedding of his own wife! These are some of the things some men had to go through in Agape. I hope this will be a way forward for people who are still suffering in silence, as some have said on this blog that they don't know whether they were abused or not. There are some people who are afraid to talk to the police, your own reflective diary or journal can be used as your evidence, I personally handed some of my written journals to the police as evidence.  

You can post your reflective analysis here anonymously, or email me your analysis privately at jeangasho.gmail.com anonymously if you wish. I would like to present all the information I collect on this post or privately to the police, then they will be able to maybe create a way for Walter Masocha victims to come forward in a way that is less frightening for victims.

Most recent Agape arranged marriage of Soliwan Enock and Marlven Kadiki. Soliwan is the daughter of Tabetha Enock, the lady who grooms under age girls to be masseurs of Daddy. 

Soliwan Enock and her arranged husband Marlven Kadiki

We were required to wear overalls during every church meeting, overalls were between £35-£40 a piece.

Not sure if this is still brainwashing or just Walter Masocha having fun in South Africa at the expense of poor church members...

As Walter Masocha faces 5 charges of sexual assault on teenage girls, Police are now to question him over the murder of 5 year old Scott Chiriseri

My dear readers, I have always believed that Prophet Walter Masocha has blood on his hands for the too many unexplained deaths in Agape. Not only has he stripped naked and told a 12 year old child to massage him using holy anointed oils,  among other serious charges, this man has literally (directly or indirectly) caused the death of over 5 people I know of and that is no joke. I write this boldly because I believe it to be true. I can confirm that today the police investigsting Scott Chiriseri's murder did ask me for a witness statement to confirm that Walter Masocha did destroy my family and treated me so badly had I not been strong enough this man could have led to me suicide. He wanted me to die so he would tell the world that I told you she is mentally ill. He predicted it, he orchestrated my death, like a movie, he wrote the script and chose his characters. The script was written on their blog, for the whole world to watch the drama. Agape wrote it on their blog that I was going to kill myself last year. I didn't, I simply couldn't afford the luxury of suicide, it was the easiest option in my situation, because living was complete hell. My life had been completely shattered, not to mention the public humiliation I had to endure.  But I couldn't possibly die,  I had to stand, and look the evil in the eye, and fight back head on,  and here I am today, having survived to tell the story, I shall blog and blog and blog until Agape For All Nations Ministries is officially shut down. 

I want to thank God for Debbie Mckenzie who saved the Micheal Musonza aka We Know Who Was Actually Writing Blog before it was deleted, because the Agape blog is crucial and filled with damning evidence that this man called Walter Masocha causes the death and suicide of his victims. He literally pushes people to suicide. Today I handed the blog over to the police investigating the murder of Scott Chiriseri. I want to thank God, that controversial Prophet Walter Masocha will be questioned in relation to the death of Scott Chiriseri. I wrote on my blog that he caused the death of that child by separating Farai from her husband and giving another woman (Caroline Chiwara) to Tichakunda. I am grateful that something is being done about this and proper investigations are under-way. 

I have written a letter to the attention of the Prime Minister David Cameron citing the horrifying incidents that have happened in Agape  as a call for self styled religious leaders to be regulated in the United Kingdom. Surely there must be a law put in place in regards to African Pentecostal Churches in the UK. I will never stop speaking until that law is enforced.  How many women and children have to die before something is done.  Enough is enough, may Walter Masocha go down in British history as the self styled Prophet who changed British Law on Religion. Here are some of the reasons among many why I want a law to regulate and protect vulnerable adults from people like Walter Masocha;

• In 2006 Walter Masocha's neighbours got so fed up with him conducting exorcisms in his front garden so much he was served with an Anti Social Behavioural Order. I am tracing those neighbours down as I will need them in my quest for fighting for a law to be enforced that protects the general public from self styled Prophets. 
• In 2012 a young woman called Vongai committed suicide after a man who did not love her was forced to marry her by Prophet Walter Masocha.  The young man pleaded with the Prophet and said he did not want to marry her, even switching off his phone the night before the marriage, but was bullied by Church leaders (Winnie and the Enocks) to comply and marry the girl otherwise God would punish him for disobeying the Prophet. The young man Brian is known to have said, "Agape is forcing me to marry a woman I don't love".  The man ended up marrying the young woman out of fear of being struck down by God, and in no time Vongai committed suicide. 
• In 2014 Cathy Chigavazira dropped and died during a church service in Scotland after she was advised by Walter Masocha to stop taking her medicine because God had said so.  A week before Cathy died, she testified in church that her Daddy Walter told her what to do and she listened to him more than medical professionals. A week later the poor woman dropped dead in a church service.  She lay on the floor behind the pulpit dead for hours as congregates thought she had been "slain" in the spirit. 
• Just last year a woman was badly hurt on her leg and ended up being hospitalized after church members violently fell on her during a prayer orgy. She went on her own to hospital no members even bothered to take her to hospital or visit.  She is still recovering from the pain and trauma alone at home.  
• In 2013 another Agape arranged marriage horribly went wrong when Jose Nenzou started shouting at her arranged husband Masimba after he asked her to remove pictures of the Prophet from their living room walls in their matrimonial home as he was being haunted by the  hideous photos. Jose Nenzou refused to take the pictures down and started screaming and punching her husband.  She then broke a plate and slashed her husband.  The poor arranged husband collapsed and regained consciousness in hospital.  He nearly died. Jose Nenzou was charged with attempted murder but the charges later dropped.  Masimba was lucky to survive.
• In 2010 church member Agnes Madanhi refused to participate in church rituals during a service. Church elders called police and ambulance during the heated church service.  Agnes got upset at seeing the police and ambulance crew and started kicking off obviously.  She was then sectioned under the mental health act with immediate effect and ended up spending months in a mental hospital, something that could have been avoided. 

Jose Nenzou, the woman who nearly killed her arranged husband over argument of Walter Masocha's pictures. 

I could go on and on till the cows come home about disturbing life threatening practices in Agape For All Nations Ministries International. It's a new year and I will do what I have to do to fight for a law to be put in place which regulates practices in African Churches in the UK. I will be publishing my letter to the Prime Minister here as well as sending it directly to him.  I am also sending letters to other government officials. I may be just a woman, a nobody but I can't bear another death or suicide of a victim of Walter Masocha.  I was lucky to survive this ordeal, and as a survivor I will try everything in my power to make a difference to prevent more lives being destroyed. Something has to be done, and this is the year. Had Masocha been stopped earlier, I believe little Scott Chiriseri would be here today. God have mercy. 

Prophet Masocha did love being surrounded by teenage girls.

Prophet Masocha on his step daughters wedding, (wedding financed by church members including a 5 star £2000 honeymoon to Cancan Mexico) Most church members are poor Zimbabwean immigrants living in poverty. 

Prophet Masocha displaying my Magazine to the congregation, I used to sleep at 4am working my butts off for the ministry that destroyed everything I ever worked for in the UK. 

Walter Masocha running during an Agape Sports event, I remember this day spending all day hungry because I had no penny to buy food

On a positive note my dear readers, Walter Masocha's pictures and name have been entirely removed  from the Agape website. Thats a breather I think. One small step towards the end of this ordeal.  Happy New Year my dear readers, from me and Nino we say may all your dreams  come true this year! Remember happiness is a journey not a destination...