THERE, I'VE SAID IT
Have you ever felt betrayed by the very person who has promised to love, cherish and protect you. It happened to me not once, it happened to me not twice, but it happened to me more times than I can remember. I can honestly say this is the first blog post I have written with tears falling down my face, and a lump of what I can only describe as pain in my throat. I may not have been the best wife to Shingai Musuka, but I truly loved this man once upon a time. I cooked him his favourite meals, I took care of him, I truly believed he was my soul mate, I even drew him a picture once and the only thing I ever thought would part us was death. Today I put my children to sleep, and my youngest little boy often cries, “I want daddy...” I often hold back tears and whisper to my children, “You will see daddy again one day, let’s just be patient and keep praying to God”. I look into my children’s eyes and feel so much pain, but I see them growing stronger and stronger each day. Daddy may no longer be in their lives, but they have a Father in heaven who loves them unconditionally. My daughter remembers the ambulance incident as if it was yesterday, so much she told the authorities she fears her mummy will be killed by her aunt Gertrude and her Gran Nana Musuka. One day I was cooking in my kitchen and my daughter asked me, “Mummy if God really loves us as you say, why did He allow this situation to happen to us,” For the first time, I couldn’t answer my daughter. After deep thought I told my daughter that bad things happen to people, we can never stop them, but its how we pick ourselves up and continue to trust in God, and in the end God will perfect everything that concerns us.
Its Sunday the 15th of December today, Agape For All Nations Ministries International wants me to take down content of my blog today by 4:00 pm. But I am not going to. In fact this is the day I choose to bare it all. If I am taken to court, let it be for nothing but the truth. I am tired of protecting something I really shouldn't. I did nothing wrong and will not be ashamed. I will tell the world today that Archbishop Dr Walter Masocha sexually molested me on a number of times in his office in his Cosyneuk mansion during what he called “surgeries”. I felt his manhood against my body during his hugs in which he would passionately caress me, he touched my breast and my bottom during prayer, and he went as far as to touch my private parts during prayer, when I complained of stomach pains. He often kissed me passionately on my neck and around my face.
The first time it happened I went home and told my husband as I felt so confused in my heart. This was a man whom I saw as Daddy and was a father figure to me, but when I was alone with him in his office, he used to do things to me that left me confused and violated. I truly believed he was an anointed man of God. Which left me even more confused and puzzled, and I felt guilty for even suspecting the man f God for inappropriate sexual conduct.
“He touched me Shingi, he did....” I confided in my husband in April 2012 the first time it happened.
“He’s a man of God Jean. He is holy and he is anointed to do what he does...” My husband would tell me.
I told my husband again the second time, again he told me that Dr Masocha was doing nothing wrong, he was only operating in the office God had called him, and because God had called him, he was allowed to do what he was doing. Half the time I had to confess to God and repent for suspecting that the man of God was doing something wrong to me. I didn’t want to touch the anointed of God. I was scared something bad would happen to me. But deep down in my heart it always felt wrong. If anything it messed up my mind, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me, worse more because the only person I ever confided in (Shingai Musuka) told me that I was not being sexually abused.
A few weeks before the ambulance incident, I remember reading a story in the book of Judges, (Judges 19) about a concubine woman who was thrown outside by her own husband, ‘a Levite’ for other men to ruthlessly rape and abuse her because he was a coward. The poor woman had fled her cruel and abusive husband, but the husband followed her and convinced her father to give him his wife back. That was the woman’s fate, and a few days later she died after being thrown out by her own husband to be raped by other men. I remember reading the story and being so disturbed for the first time I asked God why He included such a disturbing story in the canon of scripture. So horrified was I that I sent a text to Dr Masocha asking him to explain the story to me and why God allowed it in the bible. Of course Dr Masocha ignored me.
Little did I know God in His sovereignty was going to allow me to walk the walk of the concubine. A few weeks later my own husband was to stand by and watch me being ruthlessly abused by an entire empire. Actually I had started to walk the walk of the concubine way before, when my husband would allow men like Envoy Muchengeti Hove to restrain me and force me to the floor casting out so called demons out of me. My husband started spreading rumours about me in the Church. If anything the “mental health” accusations started by my very own husband, who would tell the whole church that I was insane. As if that wasn’t enough, he failed to protect me when his mother and sister Getrude Musuka called the ambulance on me. He let them abuse me. He even let Juliuis Gayakaya, another man abuse me. I can conform today, that I have walked the walk of the poor concubine and her ruthless Levite husband. For that I will never ever go back to Shingai Musuka, lest I suffer the same fate of the concubine and die. I don’t want my dead body to be cut in 12 pieces and be an example to the whole world.
On Sunday 28 July 2013 I made the first official complaint to Hampshire Police that I was sexually abused by Dr Walterv Masocha during my two year membership in Agape. This was followed by gruesome video evidence and interviews with the Police for the weeks which followed. The police promising me that Dr Masocha was certainly going to be brought to book and his crimes where going to be heard before a court of Law. The English Police were ready to arrest him, as the evidence I had given was enough to warrant his arrest and have him charged with sexual assault. However, because the sexual crimes happened in Scotland, the files were then transferred to Scotland, and Falkirk Police took over the case. Suddenly everything changed and I knew then that nothing was going to happen to Dr Masocha.
Falkirk Police told me that the English and Scotish law differ when it comes to prosecution. In Scottish Law my evidence was not enough to charge him, and the fact that not even one woman came to testify like what I did made it even harder for them to arrest him. Had another woman testified, Dr Masocha would be behind bars today. They also needed at least one witness, and no one was willing to testify for me, even Kuziva Wooldridge and Ruvimbo Siwela Matorera who witnessed Dr Masocha touching me inappropriately. On 08/8/ 2013 I even recorded a phone conversation in which Ruvimbo did admit that she saw Dr Masocha touching me. The conversation lasted 18 minutes and 20 seconds. Kuziva Wooldride also repeatedly expressed her concern over the way Dr Masoch used to touch me.
However the ultimate betrayal came from my ex husband Shingai Musuka. Beacuse he was the only person I ever confided in when the sexual abuse was happening, he was listed as the first witness to the case. Just a testimony from Shingai Musuka that I did report the abuse to him was enough to get Dr Masocha arrested. But what does my own husband do. He did not only deny what I told the police, he decided to take it a step further. This is the most painful thing I have ever been subjected to by someone who claimed to love me dearly, worse more the father of my children. Dear readers, Shingai Musuka wrote a letter, a long letter to Falkirk Police. This is the letter that changed the fate of Dr Walter Masocha. He wrote that I was a liar, an attention seeker, and worse. He wrote what a good and holy man Dr Walter Masocha was. Shingai wrote that I never did such a thing of confessing the abuse to him as my husband. With that, the case lost its witness. Why Shingai did this to me the mother of his children I can never understand. May the Lord God of heaven judge between me and him.
So on the 27th November 2013 Falkirk Police called me.
“We are sorry Jean, Dr Masocha has been in custody, but we had to release him without charge because there was not enough evidence to charge him. It means for now the case is closed, but if anything comes up again, and the evidence is sufficient he will be arrested. Your husband did not testify, your evidence alone was just not sufficient.”
I cried. I cried tears of pain. Tears of betrayal. Tears of injustice. I didn’t understand. Why Lord? If there is any justice in this world, Dr Walter Masocha should be behind bars for sexually abusing me and destroying my life. But God spoke to me that day, and He said something like, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay”. I then trusted God, and I was content with what He had allowed. All things works together for good for those who love God.
The next day after the police phone call, I signed my first book publishing contract. For me my book is the next chapter in my life. I want to make it as an author, and I know that one day, somewhere somehow, I will see justice and Dr Masocha will certainly pay for what he did to me. So its the 15Th of December today, and my blog is certainly not going down. Have a blessed Sunday everyone.
This picture was taken by Envoy Gertrude Musuka in May 2012 at a Liverpool Church outing. Behind that smile I was hiding pain that I never thought would tell the world one day.
