Arranged Marriages New Generation Style...

THE AGAPE NO DATING VISION GIVEN TO THE PROPHET.

I am not the kind of person that likes “exposing” people as I have been accused by Agape members on this blog. To be fair I think Agape has done a good job in “exposing” themselves here despite being warned by the Prophet not to read worldly blogs such as mine. I never even planned to “expose” my in-laws here never mind the Church. Let me tell you what really happened.  When I first separated from my husband, I was deeply traumatised and hurt especially by the treatment I received from my husband’s family and Church leaders. As a woman married customarily under the Zimbabwean law, I knew what I had to do.  I got married when I was barely 20 years old. I went all the way to Zimbabwe to get married. I remember being sat down by my aunties and being instructed on how to be a good traditional young wife, I did take on board a number of things I was taught especially that in our Zimbabwean culture, when you give birth your children technically belongs to your husband’s family. I was told should anything happen,  your husband’s family should  take responsibility of the children.

So 11 years later after  my husband decides to abandon me and his children in pursuit of a Church he had joined called Agape For All Nations Ministries International.  As much as I don’t like most practises in our culture, I still believe there are some good things that make us who we are as a people that came from how the elders from our mother land shaped us.   Please bear in mind that there are no boy children in the Musuka family, the other wives married into this family have failed to produce male children, I am the only one who bore "sons" in this family, and my boys are the only ones who carry the family name in their generation, without my boys their name will be extinct. Yet those little boys have been cast out cruelly. Doesn't the bible say a good name is better..... Anyway as  woman trained culturally, I took out my little note book and followed the rules.

·         Firstly I turned to my “Daddy” and told him I needed his help, he chose to ignore my emails and text message as I told him I was being bullied by Pastor Gertrude Musuka, Steward Patience Musuka, Attache Joy Swaibo Maxwebo, Board Member Yvonne Gayakaya and Board Member Julius Gayakaya, these 6 people were my worst bullies in Agape, however “Daddy” ignored me and just left it.

·         I then went to Envoy Muchengeti Hove, who had always mentored me spiritually and always used to shower me with praise of what a talented woman I was, in fact on the day of the ambulance incident, when i could not get hold of “Daddy” I called Envoy Hove, who expressed his deepest sympathies over how I had been treated in 666 Satellites. However he spoke to my husband a few hours later and made a complete u turn and started blaming me for everything. He even started shouting at me on the phone telling me what to do.

·         After help from the Church had completely failed 100%, I then went to my own family who then tried to resolve things with the Musuka family but where snubbed and completely ignored by the Musuka family.

·         At this point I then decided to do what I was taught as a 19 year old teenager when my husband had married me. I decided to go to my husband’s family myself and seek help. I tried contacting my husband’s older brother Shepherd Musuka . I wanted to tell him what I had gone through in the hands of his young brother, he cut the phone on me and told me it was none of his business and he knew nothing about anything and didn’t want to get involved. He would not pick my calls. Shepherd Musuka never once asked me how the children were. I left it for a  while but as I was not getting any money from my husband for the upkeep of the children, I decided to go yet again to Shepherd Musuka for help because when I was married I was told that in our culture the children you bear belongs to your husband’s family. Since Shepherd Musuka was no longer picking my calls, I decided to contact him via Whatsapp chat and asked him to ask my husband to send me money for the upkeep of the children. Shepherd Musuka then decided to block me on whatsapp.

·         After being blocked on Whatsaap by Shepherd Musuka, I was deeply hurt and felt like a wife forsaken and abandoned by my husband and his family. Shepherd made me cry. I was so desperate I then contacted my husband’s close relatives the Ngoshi family who live in Leicestershire. I was crying out for help but no one was listening to me. The Ngoshi family completely ignored me, by this time I was living in a women’s refuge.

·         After all attempts to contact my husband’s family had failed miserably, I decided to express my hurt and betrayal via the media. But before I spoke to Zimbabwean journalist Lance Guma and even Muzvare Betty Makoni, I decided to do the right thing and inform the Musuka family that this was the road I was now taking as a last resort. I have all the evidence. I thought it would be unfair for them to just wake up one morning and their names are in the papers, (Gertrude Musuka) so I thought it’s better to inform them first. I then contacted Shepherd Musuka’s wife Lucy, since Shepherd had cut me off.  Lucy was now the only person in the family I could contact. I told her I was now going to the media as a last resort, I told her to inform my husband and Gertrude Musuka that the story will be out in the papers within 2 weeks the latest. She again completely ignored me; she didn’t even reply my whatsapp chat.  After that I knew in my heart that the right thing to do was to go public with my story, as all attempts to deal with this privately had failed, and I cannot begin to express how deeply hurt I was by the treatment I received in my husband’s family, especially my brother in law Shepherd Musuka. I thought they were going to say come on Jean, you don’t have to do this lets work something out, I bet they didn’t think I was serious about taking the story to the media.

It’s been over 3 months since I have been abandoned with my children and not even one person from the Musuka family has ever called me to ask if the children who bear their surname are okay. What are they eating? Where are they sleeping? The Musuka family has washed their hands off my children, in fact they would rather the children are put into foster care. Can someone tell me if this is not the most evil family on the planet? I went through all the channels as a traditional daughter in law but I was completely disregarded and not even acknowledged.  Evil evil evil. What’s really painful is that for all of my in-laws to be in the United Kingdom it’s my husband who brought them here. My husband brought his brother Shepherd here, Getrude Musuka, Patience Musuka, Patricia Musuka and his parents. My husband was living in my flat when we were still dating and he was saving up money for air tickets for his extra large family. So I even played a huge part in them being in the United Kingdom, because if my husband had his own flat and was paying rent he would not have afforded to bring the whole lot here. And now with the help of Dr Masocha they have repaid my husband by completely destroying his life.

Yeah I dated my husband for 2 years before we got married and I had my own flat in Southport. For all of his family to be living in Southport it’s actually because of me. I met him at 17 and he was 20. I was a young naive teenager never been kissed and before I knew it I had an engagement ring on my finger. Oh talking about dating and getting engaged, it reminds of something I might just mention in this post as the icing on the cake. Did you know that in Agape, people are not allowed to date? Yep, the Prophet teaches that it’s against the word of God to date. When I started going to Agape I thought it was a joke until I heard Dr Masocha with my own ears teaching what he calls, MY SON MARRIES MY DAUGHTER doctrine.

AGAPE  NO DATING POLICY / ARRANGED MARRIAGE

·         Boys are not allowed to approach girls if they fancy them.

·         Any boy/man who happens to find a girl/woman attractive must book an appointment to see the Prophet and tell him personally that he wants one of Dr Masocha’s “daughters”.

·         The boy/man must give valid reasons why he wants to marry the Prophets daughter or risk being told “God has told me you are not the right man for my daughter”.

·         If you are lucky the Prophet will either tell you to go back and do some growing up then come back after a year, that’s if he feels you are not yet man enough to marry. Many unlucky ones are simply told they are not good enough for his daughters.

·         If you are lucky you are given a trial period of one year where the Prophet asks for your BANK STATEMENTS to see if you will be able to look after his “daughter”.

·         The Prophet will also want to see proof that you are paying your tithes because he says a husband who doesn’t pay tithes will bring poverty in his house.

·         In the mean time the “daughter” is in the dark and knows nothing about the arranged marriage.

·         If the candidate is successful at proving he is a man to the Prophet, (good bank balance, paying tithes) the girl is then telephoned by Dr Masocha and asked to come to Scotland to what he calls the SOFA.

·         The girl then goes to Scotland and the Prophet sits both the girl and boy on a couch/sofa and Dr Masocha sits opposite them and tells them both that God has shown the Prophet that they are to be married, (arranged marriage).

·         They are then told never to touch each other or kiss. They are then told they are not allowed to be ever alone or even go on a date, not even for a meal or the movies. The Prophet then sets their wedding day, and without ever being on a date, two complete strangers are sealed in holy matrimony and they are told they will live happily ever after.

·         Anyone who disputes this no dating policy doctrine is considered rebellious and “not running with the vision”.

With that I leave you with the above NO DATING POLICY / ARRANGED MARRAIGE doctrine that’s widely practised in Agape For All Nations Ministries, a church that has a high percentage of single women and divorce rates. My own father never asked my husband for a bank statement, how on earth does Dr Masocha think he has the right to belittle other men like that? Did he show his bank statement to the family of his first wife before he married her? I leave you to ponder on that one.

 Below is my husband and his older brother and sister Patience during summer 2013 on a family beach outing I was not invited.