FAITH MUTEMA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

 Faith Mutema speaks out about her ordeal and encourages women to rise up above any storm. 

Last year a Zimbabwean mother Faith Mutema was publicly humiliated after a video of her crying and begging for forgiveness from her husband was posted on social media for the whole world to see. After watching the video I was personally moved to offer my support to Faith. Three months later  Faith has started the process of rebuilding her life. In an exclusive interview to He Was My Daddy Blog, Faith says,   “ I am the type of person that need answers and closure, very loving and caring but I hate backstabbers and pretenders. I grew up in a loving supportive family,  my mother and father have been wonderful parents to me. They have worked hard to provide a stable foundation for my life and future. They have taught me invaluable lessons about work, marriage, parenting, relationships and life. They set a healthy example from the very beginning that life is not all about getting… it’s about giving. My father has a motto for us as family. “Learn to be quiet ” as in to respect fools to avoid noise. And this helped a lot in my life because no matter what you do good or bad people will always talk and if you keep yourself away from them they will definitely reach a point when they will give up” Faith took her father’s advice diligently and kept quiet when her video went viral, but as her name was tarnished on social media, she felt now was the time to speak out and bring closure to her ordeal as she starts a fresh page in her life.

Humble Faith has learnt a lot from her supportive parents. 

“ I was so much in love with my husband and he was my true love. As you know all relationships are not rosy. I had lots of bad experiences in my marriage but I kept everything in my heart those who would see my glowing and smiling face outside could not easily figure out what I was experiencing But I also have good memories of my marriage.  Yes I believe in love….. My heart has been broken but still I believe in love because no matter what happens or how bad it seems today life goes on and it will be better tomorrow. “ Faith said confidently when asked whether she still believed in love.

Its not easy being a working mother, but as a woman you multitask! 

Her biggest role in her life as a woman is being a mother, and through the darkest moments of her life, it was her role as a mother that helped her find that inner strength. “Being a mother compelled me to reinvent myself, discovering a power within myself that has helped me reach the new rhythm in this path. Oh, what a challenge motherhood has been, and how complex it has been to educate my children, to grow and teach myself to be more patient, more focused and to appreciate together the small and great things of life. How tiring it has been to find the balance to guide them with limits, but without hindering their freedom. How extremely difficult it is to say ‘no’. How to make them happy and live a better life than the one we experienced. How difficult it is to love and to educate at the same time. It is true that a mother’s love is different from everything else; it is an immense force that helps you forgive, trust, and honor the divine commitment of being a mother, without schedules, without rest and without a script. I found within myself a power I didn't know existed”.

As a professional working mother, Faith says its been her greatest challenge as a woman, working and being a mum, "My greatest challenge as a woman is motherhood and keeping myself professionally active. It was a major test in my life, but I had not fully realized that being a mother is, in itself, the greatest challenge in a woman’s life. Pillian, Pascaline and Paisley were born when I was a mature woman and in the midst of a solid professional career. The birth of our children was a miracle of love that transformed us, our daily routine, thoughts, hierarchies and interests. Despite all of this, I wanted to be the same woman as I had always been. I could only begin to guess that this challenge would bring me the greatest learning of my life. And to work even more harder to provide for the family. The first thing was to accept the change."

Speaking about her relationship with her estranged husband Patrick, Faith says “ Patrick is the father of my kids and I cannot run away from that. We are not together but we talk together about the children. Whatever he said in the papers about the DNA tests those were just stories, he knows the kids are his and nothing else.  Right now I don’t know whether I will get back with him,  I have a lot on my mind and I am trying to focus on myself and my children.”

We now live in a civilized society, people think outside the box. 

Asked how she felt after the story went viral, Faith said, “I could not believe what was happening, it was like in a movie. To tell the truth I never thought Patrick could do such a thing to me and my family after all I went through. Vana Tete were supposed to get to the bottom of the story and find ways of solving it other than doing what they did, they forget they also have daughters. It is said “ Akazvara sekera mudende” or “ Mugoni wepwere ndeasinayo” so what goes around surely will come around. I was so touched and felt sorry for my father and the pain was unbearable, they belittled him of which even today when I think of it, it makes me cry. I was put to shame the most humiliation ever but I don’t blame the world because they are all human and they say whatever they want especially when you give them a chance to do so. First and foremost I blamed myself for solving a wrong thing with a wrong. And I also blamed Patrick for not being man enough to solve this issue without involving the media, taking the video, publishing it. What I did was so wrong but I feel people were not supposed to judge me. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes..... It was unfortunate to me that people could call me all sorts of names but I believe God has something in store for me and will never turn to the world to seek for forgiveness but to God only because He is the answer to all my pleas and He is the only person who understand and knows what was really going on in my marriage and he knows what pushed me that far though it was wrong, I admit. Through my pains I gained strength and learned that I never would have made it without the Lord bringing me through it. I know people will hate me, rate me, shake me, and try to break me but how strong I stand is what makes Me. And God has a reason for me to be here and he will see me through the up and downs.”

Faith said she was touched by the sympathy she received from the public, especially from women,  “Am so grateful with the support. I was overwhelmed with their support because after what I did supporting me was like encouraging to do bad things but I know they took it from the book of the Lord when a woman caught in adultery was forgiven but her accusers were convicted of their conscience when Jesus asked them to stone the woman if among them there was one who had never sinned. It made me strong and to know the reason I have to be on this planet. I’ve three beautiful daughters and they need me and am sure that’s the reason why they felt even if I did something wrong I needed that support for the sake of my kids and family because if I am gone they will never have another loving and caring mother , sister or aunt like me.”

Asked what advice she would give to any women who ever found themselves in a situation like hers, a resilient Faith spoke boldly against adultery and discouraged married women to ever go down that path, “ My advice to women is to never allow yourself to be in a situation which makes your life difficult / which doesn't suits you/ you are not comfortable with , whenever you feel things are not well leave if you have the chance to do so. Don’t ever think of being resolute cause you will end up in my situation whereby you thing doing what I did is right and think makes you feel better yet when caught no one will ever listen to what you went through.

A fresh faced and confident Faith at a Church Valentine dinner on February 14th. 

I asked Faith whether she thought our Zimbabwean culture played a part in the way she was treated by her husband’s family and publicly shamed. “ I really feel yes it did, but we now live in a civilized society, people now think outside the box of Zimbabwean culture . I feel that people who did not support what Patrick and his sisters did were very right because you can’t solve your family issues through the public humiliation , what will be the meaning of the saying “ Chakafukidza dzimba matenga”. Patrick’s family wanted to tarnish my image and destroy me completely and they thought the world could turn on me and say all sorts of bad things, but to those who are mature enough they didn't rush into conclusions. The fact that am so polite and taking it from the motto I learnt from my father “ Kunyarara kunokunda kurwa” I had to be quite. Its not that I didn't have anything to say or to fight back, had lots to say about him but was too way smart for that. • I would like to thank all those who supported me and I still need the support to keep me going and to those who called me names it was good for you during that time and you stole nothing from me am still the same Faith and even better now. I am Stronger because I had to be, I am Smarter because of my mistakes, Happier because of the sadness I've known and now Wiser because I have learnt from my life’s journey. I have stood and my future looks positive, if I can do it, any woman can. When you are shamed on social media, it looks dark and gloomy, but you can still rise up from the dust. I am living proof of that, I have risen above the storm”

I am happier because of the sadness I've known.